[DH] Nyx | Warrior | The Gayest Wolf on the Block >:)
Aug 13, 2018 20:38:44 GMT -6
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Post by Alex on Aug 13, 2018 20:38:44 GMT -6
Basic Information
Name: Nyx
- Meaning: "night"
- Pronunciation: nix
Aliases: She's been called a lot of names, most of them not so nice. Punk, loser, dumbass... just to name a few of the more common ones. Get creative. Shock her. Make her laugh. She'd love to see what vile nickname you can come up for her. On the nicer side, when she was a kid, her parents used to call her 'cub.' Her dad in particular liked to call her his special little girl.
Age: 2 years
Gender: Female
Sexual Orientation: Lesbian
Allegiance: Darkest Hollow
- Rank: Warrior
- Desired Rank: She's good with Warrior, man... but hey, if she can get something better, she wouldn't complain.
Physical Characteristics
Condition: Healthy enough and in good shape. A little undernourished and rough around the edges, having a bunch of still-healing injuries here and there from all the fights she's been in, but she's fine.
- Height: 39in / 100cm
- Weight: 145lbs / 66kg
Physique: Tall, dark, and awkward. Usually the first thing someone notices when they see Nyx is her impressive height and lankiness. She stands even taller than most males, thanks to the mild gigantism common in the Nightstalkers bloodline, but she's far from statuesque. With those long stilt-like legs and awkward oversized paws, she just looks like a graceless colt. She has yet to fully obtain the filled-out figure of a mature adult and still looks like a gangly yearling, but don't take this to mean she's some scrawny runt. Yeah, she's skinny, with twiggy legs, narrow waist, and an almost concerning lack of body fat, but Nyx has muscle too. She's lean and athletic, with a deep chest, muscular shoulders, a thick neck, and strong jaws.
Her gangly figure might not be much to look at for some, but others might say her face is even less to gaze at. Not like she's ugly or anything... she's actually not bad-featured at all. Her muzzle is pretty long and narrow, but it's straight and well-shaped. Her ears are a little large and high up on her head, but they're nicely conical. When her expression is totally neutral, she might even be considered good-looking. The problem is her expression is rarely ever neutral and she always has some weird, unsettling, off-putting look on her face.
Fur: Nyx's coat is almost completely black with very little variation in shade, save for the dark grey marking the back of her thick ruff and top of her tail. The same dark grey dusts the sides of her forehead, her flanks, and the back of her thighs. A lighter, more silvery grey lines the sides of her neck and her cape. Besides that, she has no stand-out markings, just deep midnight blackness.
More interesting is the texture of her fur: it's thick and wild, especially her rather large mane. Her fur is always standing up and sticking out in every direction, making her look like she's been electrocuted or something. It's almost a little strange how the fur on the back of her mane seems to defy gravity. Unsurprisingly, the feeling isn't the nicest—it's rather coarse and rough, but her underfur is fairly soft and woolly.
Summer is a weird time for Nyx because she totally loses her mane, making her look incredibly disproportionate—even more than she already is anyway.
Eyes: Besides her height, insane facial expressions, and wild black fur, Nyx's eyes might be one of her most distinctive features. Her icy grey stare, such a bright silver it's almost white, contrasts intensely with her jet black fur. Her gaze is fierce and sharp, focused and alert.
Imperfections: Physically, Nyx is very far from perfect... she's pretty poorly proportioned with her oversized paws and legs that are way too long and thin. But she doesn't have any other really glaring flaws. No large scars to speak of, though she has plenty of smaller ones hidden by her fur.
Physical Strengths
» Agile - With her lithe build and long, strong legs, it’s no surprise that Nyx is fast. She’s built to run and can cover a lot of distance in short time. She possesses impressive agility too, able to make tight turns on a dime.
» Strong Bite - With her thin frame, Nyx can’t exactly throw her weight around the way a stockier wolf can. It’s not like she’s light—she’s actually heavier than a lot of wolves—but her center of gravity is too high and she doesn't have the bulk to take advantage of her weight. As a result, Nyx learned to take advantage of her strong jaws and agility. She can deliver a really nasty bite.
» Stamina - Most wolves are built for stamina and endurance and Nyx is no exception. In fact, she might even be exceptional in this regard, with her boundless energy and ability to keep fighting, running, and hunting for ages and still be eager for more.
» Great Sense of Smell - Nyx's nose is very sensitive, always had been. Ever since she was a cub, she had remarkable tracking ability and could pick up and notice any subtle scent that came her way. Back when she was in Border Patrol, her strong sense of smell proved very useful many times, as she could always sniff out any intruder
Physical Weaknesses
» Sense of Smell is Too Sensitive - Having such a good nose is a double-edged sword. Sometimes it's awesome, other times it's a goddamn curse. It's incredibly easy for a scent to overwhelm her and make her sick and nauseous. It doesn't even have to be some rank, disgusting stench either, it could just be too much of a nice smell.
» Lacking in Bulk - Nyx is far from weak, but she's tall and lanky and it doesn't take much effort on a stockier wolf's part to knock her off her paws and get her off-balance. When it comes to close-quarters grappling and shoving, it's hard for Nyx to use her weight against another. She's not solid enough.
Mental Characteristics
Personality Type: Introvert
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
MBTI: ISFP
Enneagram: Type 8w7 sx/so
Western Zodiac: Scorpio
Overview:
Nyx is rude, abrasive, and a total jerk. She'll mouth off to anyone and everyone, it doesn't matter who they are. She's incredibly antagonistic—she likes to fight, to argue, to push other people's buttons. It's fun. It's exciting. It's hilarious, especially if the other wolf argues back, or gets violent, or tries to threaten her, telling her that she'd "better be careful" or whatever, as if that would intimidate her. It's funny how wolves take every little comment she makes so seriously too. Sometimes. Other times it just gets on her nerves. "Man, these guys really think I'm that stupid?" she might think.
She likes to mess with and tease people she likes too, but she's typically a little more mild about it and may even show a little more sensitivity and consideration. She's still incredibly vulgar and offensive though.
Ticking people off is a total riot, but it can get boring really fast. Some wolves are just boring from the start, other wolves are fun at first but then their comebacks start getting stale, or it doesn't escalate as much as she wants it to, and she doesn't feel like riling them up anymore. Most of the time, Nyx gets bored pretty quickly. Not just bored of screwing with people, but of nearly anything. It's hard for her to pay attention and stay interested in something for long, especially if it's not really engaging her. That's why she seeks out fights and danger like she does—it's exciting, it engages her so much she barely notices anything else around her, and she feels like she has a clear goal.
Most of the time Nyx feels pretty directionless, not really knowing what she actually wants. Sometimes she even feels a little apathetic, and she hates that feeling. What's the point in living if you don't care about anything? When she finds something she feels strongly about, she dives in deep and engulfs herself in that passion. She becomes fixated and even slightly obsessive. Some might find it off-putting. Too much. Nyx doesn’t care if it’s “too much.” If you ask her, she feels her best when she feels like this, even if feeling this deeply can hurt worse than anything, but she feels so alive and like life is worth living.
She's incredibly moody, driven by her intense emotions. She has a hard time controlling her emotional responses—she feels very deeply and is very impulsive on top of it, and it's almost impossible for her to hide how she's feeling at any given moment. She sometimes wishes she could be a little more stoic, and that she could hold back more easily. It's hard to distance herself for a moment and give her a second to chill out and be rational, and it's really a pain in the ass sometimes, when she really doesn't want anybody to know how she's feeling.
Her impulses and emotions lead her to being pretty reckless.
Nyx is very genuine, honest and straight-forward in the way she presents herself. She's extremely blunt and says what she thinks maybe a little too much. It doesn't help that she doesn't word things in the nicest way either. It might be a pain sometimes, but at least you’ll have some idea of what she actually thinks, though sometimes it can be hard to deduce exactly how she feels about someone or something, but that's more because she's often confused about her own feelings at least a little bit, not so much deliberately hiding it.
She doesn't really get why some wolves get pretty offended when she's telling them straight-up what she thinks, especially if they asked. Do they want to be lied to? Weird. Nyx would rather be told the truth, even if it's not nice. If somebody can be straight-forward with her, she respects and trusts them a lot more. She knows she can believe in what they tell her, and it's pretty hard to find anybody she can believe in nowadays.
But when she does find someone like that, someone she can really trust, who she knows has her back, she'll stick by them through everything.
Mental Strengths
» Intuitive - Nyx often does moronic things, but she’s much more intelligent than she seems. She's sharply intuitive and observant. She picks up on all the little details. She's a lot more observant than she seems like she would be, and she always seems to be aware of when something is up. She’s very curious as well and has a good memory.
» Open-minded - For a mouthy filterless jerk who just loves to harass people for no apparent reason, Nyx can prove to be surprisingly open-minded and nonjudgmental. She'll just take things as they are and is cool with it. Even crazy, outlandish things, where it seems like there's no way, she never really closes herself off to it. Even when it comes to people... yeah she likes to tease and talk trash, but she accepts people for who they are.
» Genuine - Nyx is pretty straight-up and honest with people. When she's not just screwing around for the hell of it, what she says is reflective of her true thoughts and feelings. Maybe she's way too honest sometimes, but at least there isn't any deception.
» Strong Fighting Skills - Nyx knows her way around the battlefield, having grown in a pack that was at constant war with its neighbors and having gotten into fights nearly every day in her youth. She's strategic and quick-thinking, able to come up with ways to turn a situation to her advantage in a split second sometimes by more unconventional means. She fights hard, fast, and dirty and she plays to win.
Mental Weaknesses
» Pride - If Nyx has one weakness, it’s her pride. It’s the drive behind her stubbornness, her hypercompetitive nature, her hatred of vulnerability, her inability to properly apologize, and her consistent refusal of help. Her pride is the motivator behind most of her stupid decisions and is the thing that's lead to her getting hurt the most. Her pride makes relationships difficult.
Her pride primarily manifests as stubbornness and a desire to show the world that she's great, that she's capable, that she's worth something. She has to be the best, and she has to make sure everyone knows she's the best, even if it hurts her.
» Stubborn - Derived from her incredible pride, Nyx stands her ground, no matter what, and hates giving in, seeing it as a sign of weakness. To give up is to admit defeat, and Nyx is not a loser.
» Impulsive - Nyx can be incredibly impulsive, just doing things without actually thinking about it or the risks. Or maybe she just doesn't care. She craves excitement and thrill. Danger is exciting, it makes her feel so viscerally alive, and she’s not worried about the risk of death. Not that she’s extremely confident that she will survive anything, but because she doesn’t really value her own life that much.
» Self-hatred - She's outgoing, carries herself high, and has an ego the size of Jupiter. Most would think a wolf like her would think really well of herself, but she really doesn't like herself at all. She might even say she hates herself. As far as she's concerned, she's a mopey pathetic little bitch, to weak to even stand up for herself. She's stupid and awkward-looking. She cares way too much about what other people think. Loser. Why is she even alive? Even her own mother hated her.
She would never admit to any of these feelings though. She'd rather die than let anyone find out how pathetic she really is.
Likes
She likes to mess with and tease people she likes too, but she's typically a little more mild about it and may even show a little more sensitivity and consideration. She's still incredibly vulgar and offensive though.
Ticking people off is a total riot, but it can get boring really fast. Some wolves are just boring from the start, other wolves are fun at first but then their comebacks start getting stale, or it doesn't escalate as much as she wants it to, and she doesn't feel like riling them up anymore. Most of the time, Nyx gets bored pretty quickly. Not just bored of screwing with people, but of nearly anything. It's hard for her to pay attention and stay interested in something for long, especially if it's not really engaging her. That's why she seeks out fights and danger like she does—it's exciting, it engages her so much she barely notices anything else around her, and she feels like she has a clear goal.
Most of the time Nyx feels pretty directionless, not really knowing what she actually wants. Sometimes she even feels a little apathetic, and she hates that feeling. What's the point in living if you don't care about anything? When she finds something she feels strongly about, she dives in deep and engulfs herself in that passion. She becomes fixated and even slightly obsessive. Some might find it off-putting. Too much. Nyx doesn’t care if it’s “too much.” If you ask her, she feels her best when she feels like this, even if feeling this deeply can hurt worse than anything, but she feels so alive and like life is worth living.
She's incredibly moody, driven by her intense emotions. She has a hard time controlling her emotional responses—she feels very deeply and is very impulsive on top of it, and it's almost impossible for her to hide how she's feeling at any given moment. She sometimes wishes she could be a little more stoic, and that she could hold back more easily. It's hard to distance herself for a moment and give her a second to chill out and be rational, and it's really a pain in the ass sometimes, when she really doesn't want anybody to know how she's feeling.
Her impulses and emotions lead her to being pretty reckless.
Nyx is very genuine, honest and straight-forward in the way she presents herself. She's extremely blunt and says what she thinks maybe a little too much. It doesn't help that she doesn't word things in the nicest way either. It might be a pain sometimes, but at least you’ll have some idea of what she actually thinks, though sometimes it can be hard to deduce exactly how she feels about someone or something, but that's more because she's often confused about her own feelings at least a little bit, not so much deliberately hiding it.
She doesn't really get why some wolves get pretty offended when she's telling them straight-up what she thinks, especially if they asked. Do they want to be lied to? Weird. Nyx would rather be told the truth, even if it's not nice. If somebody can be straight-forward with her, she respects and trusts them a lot more. She knows she can believe in what they tell her, and it's pretty hard to find anybody she can believe in nowadays.
But when she does find someone like that, someone she can really trust, who she knows has her back, she'll stick by them through everything.
Mental Strengths
» Intuitive - Nyx often does moronic things, but she’s much more intelligent than she seems. She's sharply intuitive and observant. She picks up on all the little details. She's a lot more observant than she seems like she would be, and she always seems to be aware of when something is up. She’s very curious as well and has a good memory.
» Open-minded - For a mouthy filterless jerk who just loves to harass people for no apparent reason, Nyx can prove to be surprisingly open-minded and nonjudgmental. She'll just take things as they are and is cool with it. Even crazy, outlandish things, where it seems like there's no way, she never really closes herself off to it. Even when it comes to people... yeah she likes to tease and talk trash, but she accepts people for who they are.
» Genuine - Nyx is pretty straight-up and honest with people. When she's not just screwing around for the hell of it, what she says is reflective of her true thoughts and feelings. Maybe she's way too honest sometimes, but at least there isn't any deception.
» Strong Fighting Skills - Nyx knows her way around the battlefield, having grown in a pack that was at constant war with its neighbors and having gotten into fights nearly every day in her youth. She's strategic and quick-thinking, able to come up with ways to turn a situation to her advantage in a split second sometimes by more unconventional means. She fights hard, fast, and dirty and she plays to win.
Mental Weaknesses
» Pride - If Nyx has one weakness, it’s her pride. It’s the drive behind her stubbornness, her hypercompetitive nature, her hatred of vulnerability, her inability to properly apologize, and her consistent refusal of help. Her pride is the motivator behind most of her stupid decisions and is the thing that's lead to her getting hurt the most. Her pride makes relationships difficult.
Her pride primarily manifests as stubbornness and a desire to show the world that she's great, that she's capable, that she's worth something. She has to be the best, and she has to make sure everyone knows she's the best, even if it hurts her.
» Stubborn - Derived from her incredible pride, Nyx stands her ground, no matter what, and hates giving in, seeing it as a sign of weakness. To give up is to admit defeat, and Nyx is not a loser.
» Impulsive - Nyx can be incredibly impulsive, just doing things without actually thinking about it or the risks. Or maybe she just doesn't care. She craves excitement and thrill. Danger is exciting, it makes her feel so viscerally alive, and she’s not worried about the risk of death. Not that she’s extremely confident that she will survive anything, but because she doesn’t really value her own life that much.
» Self-hatred - She's outgoing, carries herself high, and has an ego the size of Jupiter. Most would think a wolf like her would think really well of herself, but she really doesn't like herself at all. She might even say she hates herself. As far as she's concerned, she's a mopey pathetic little bitch, to weak to even stand up for herself. She's stupid and awkward-looking. She cares way too much about what other people think. Loser. Why is she even alive? Even her own mother hated her.
She would never admit to any of these feelings though. She'd rather die than let anyone find out how pathetic she really is.
Likes
» Beautiful girls
» Chewing on sticks and bones. Whenever she's feeling bothered by something, she gets the urge to chew. It helps chill her out.
» Fighting
» Running. She loves feeling that wind in her fur when she’s running fast down a hill.
» Challenges, beating those challenges, and proving her supremacy
» Attention. She never got enough as a kid. Now she's a show-off and attention-seeker.
» Drama and conflict
» Trouble
» Adrenaline
» The smell of smoke.
» When wolves hate her[/ul]
Dislikes
» Weakness.
» Boredom. The feeling of being bored and apathetic is the worst—she doesn’t understand how some wolves just live boring lives and don’t mind it, even enjoy it. This is a big part of why she does a lot of the things she does, even if they’re crazy or stupid. She doesn’t want to be bored.
» Cowards. It's so pathetic how they let fear control them and hold them back from really living.
» Her mother.
» Being told what to do. Nyx often does the opposite out of spite.
» Anybody that's a total stick in the mud. How can anybody live like that?
» Wusses who whine about her being too vulgar, mean, and nasty
» Wolves who think they're clever but they're really not
» When somebody gets in her way when she's trying to score
» Liars
» Wolves who are too quiet and wolves who never shut up
» Don't pity her.[/ul]
Fears: Drowning. Nyx doesn't fear death, but there's something about the thought of drowning that puts her on edge. Failure. Humiliation. Being emotionally vulnerable and open.
Insecurites: While she carries herself with confidence and is nothing if not bold, Nyx has her insecurities just like everyone else... hard not to. After spending her whole life being told how worthless, ugly, weak, pathetic, and stupid she is, it's a wonder her self esteem isn't any worse. She's become numb to comments like those, but if there's anything that really gets to her it's her complicated, damaged relationship with her mother. That woman hated her. Probably wished she was never born. If her own mother feels that way, what does it say about her?
Quirks: She chews when frustrated, stressed, bored, or depressed. Typically she prefers sticks or bones, but if nothing else is available, she'll chew her paws. She's prone to grinning too widely and showing too much teeth, resulting in some of her facial expressions being somewhat unsettling.
Relationships
Mother: Nemesis, her mother who she loathes and fears but could never bring herself to truly hate.
Father: Erasmus, her father who was never really there for her.
Siblings: Nyx had many brothers, and she was cursed by being the youngest and the only girl. The only ones of note are Raynes, the oldest son and the only one she really loved; Styx (who she and nearly everyone else called Twiggy), who was the youngest of the first little and the easiest to mess with; and Troy, the second oldest and a bully who Nyx always hated.
Mate: hey ladies ;)
Offspring: hell no
Extended Family: She has a bunch: like her cousin Paris who got killed when Nyx was a pup; or Uncle Leonidas, the second in command of her pack who was honestly pretty scary; or her cousin Danae, who was kinda annoying and hard to understand but cool enough; or her douchebag cousins Deimos and Ares who could jump off a cliff for all she cares.
In-game Relationships: watch out, cuz here she comes....
Father: Erasmus, her father who was never really there for her.
Siblings: Nyx had many brothers, and she was cursed by being the youngest and the only girl. The only ones of note are Raynes, the oldest son and the only one she really loved; Styx (who she and nearly everyone else called Twiggy), who was the youngest of the first little and the easiest to mess with; and Troy, the second oldest and a bully who Nyx always hated.
Mate: hey ladies ;)
Offspring: hell no
Extended Family: She has a bunch: like her cousin Paris who got killed when Nyx was a pup; or Uncle Leonidas, the second in command of her pack who was honestly pretty scary; or her cousin Danae, who was kinda annoying and hard to understand but cool enough; or her douchebag cousins Deimos and Ares who could jump off a cliff for all she cares.
In-game Relationships: watch out, cuz here she comes....
Miscellaneous
Voice and Speech Patterns: Middle-range, a little low and flat. She is a tough-talker, with an informal, blunt, and direct manner of speaking. Often very vulgar with a penchant for crude, mean-spirited humor.
Scent: Primarily of pine with smoky undertones and the faintest hint of cloves.
Posting Table:
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[font color="ffffff"]"NyxSp"[/font]
[font color="cdcdcd"]"OthSp"[/font]
[font style="color:#666666; font-style:italic;"]NyxTh[/font]
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Mentioned || [font color="#989898"]xXMent[/font]
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Notes|| [font color="#989898"]xXNote[/font][/div][/div][/div][/div]
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History
warning: abuse and suicide talk
Nyx's upbringing wasn't really anything that unusual: she was just a pup from the dominant pair's second litter and grew up in a fairly strong and well-sized pack with a good territory in the heart of the conifer forest. The dominant male, her father, was a strong man who led the Nightstalkers well, even in the face of constant war with the neighboring pack of the mountains. Despite the land never truly knowing peace, they survived, they thrived, and they were strong. Between the pack's brutal culture and the almost-daily battles they would face, Nyx learned to be strong, to have the heart of a warrior, and to be willing to lay down her life for her pack.
Though she was the dominant pair's only daughter, Nyx wasn't treated particularly well inside her pack. As the youngest pup, she often had to fight for resources. Though food was hardly scarce, much of it was a challenge to catch and the forests were so deep and the terrain so uneven that the pack didn't always eat. The hierarchy of the Nightstalkers was a strong one, where the strongest wolves would eat and the weakest would starve. Erasmus and Nemesis always ate well, as did Nyx's oldest brother, Raynes. The rest of the pack squabbled and fought over what they could get after the most noble wolves had their fill. As Erasmus had a liking to Nyx, often referring to her as his special little girl, he would always take some extra to give to her, and Nyx would eagerly take it but other wolves would fight her for what she had. Even her brother, Troy, who was an entire year older and much bigger and stronger than she was.
Instead of fighting at the kill, he would typically steal Nyx's food. She'd fight back every time, and he'd beat her every time. The only good thing was when Raynes would see it and step in to defend her from Troy. With his greater strength and higher rank, Raynes had little trouble making Troy back off. Raynes and Nyx would end up spending their mealtimes together and the two became close. Nyx found herself following Raynes as much as she could. Even though he was quiet and didn't tend to speak much, his presence was very comforting to her and he was easy to confide her feelings to.
Despite being the dominants' pup, the others didn't afford any particular respect to her. The other pups liked to mess with her and bully her for being so scrawny and gawky-looking. At first, Nyx would be hurt by it, as she was a very sensitive child, and would seek her mother's comfort. There were a few times Nemesis would hold Nyx and allow the girl to cuddle her. They were such rare and sparing occasions, and Nyx treasured each time, her mother's rich, warm, smoky scent still strong in her mind even today.
Nemesis had told Nyx to be strong and that's what Nyx did. She learned to defend herself and to brush off their prodding and teasing. She learned to be aggressive and unrelenting, to not let anybody walk all over her. The gentle, sensitive pup became a hardened spitfire and bully herself. She became numb to everything her peers had to say, instead taking it all and dishing it out herself. She learned to fight and to fight well. Eventually they left her alone and she made room for herself in this pack. By the time she was nine months old, she had amassed a few followers and found it was easy to get everything she needed when all the other kids practically bowed to her. Even her older brother Twiggy would follow Nyx and submit to her every whim. Nyx hoped her parents were proud of what she was able to accomplish, and she always found herself looking to them for approval at every turn. Especially that of her mother, hoping that one day Nemesis will smile and tell Nyx she's proud of her.
It wasn't easy. Nemesis was unimpressed and dissatisfied, usually preferred to be alone most of the time, and she was surly and hated children. Even so, Nyx still admired her greatly. Erasmus was distant, often too busy leading hunts and battles to pay much attention to her, but when he was around, he was an affectionate and playful father. Nyx found it was easier to get the attention and affection she craved from him, even if it wasn't as much as she needed. Erasmus' affection towards Nyx only fueled the fire between her and Troy, who was incredibly jealous and bitter and held a deep grudge against her and Raynes.
As a yearling, she became a member of Border Patrol, an important job in the pack due to its shared border with an enemy pack. She worked hard to watch their borders and ensure nobody intruded, though Nyx tended to wander away from her troop, either to scout other parts of the territory or she simply got distracted by some prey or anything else that caught her attention. It was around this time she found herself drawn to other females and there was the occasional time she would ditch her duties just to talk to another girl her age. There was one in particular she really liked and she was excited to tell her mother about it. She'd first confided in Raynes, and it turned out he was just like her, as in he was gay too. He warned Nyx not to tell Nemesis, that he had a feeling she wasn't going to like what Nyx had to say, but Nyx ignored his warning.
Raynes was right. Nemesis wouldn't believe it at first, then she was furious and she punished Nyx, very physically and violently. She'd keep punishing her. But it never stopped Nyx. It only made her depressed and stubborn and filled with deep self-loathing but she refused to compromise herself for her mother's sake... she knew deep inside that even if she tried to make herself different for Nemesis, it wouldn't change things much. After Nemesis had completely rejected her, things between her and Troy got even worse as he found himself with more ammunition to strike her with, and she grew somewhat distant from most of her pack. She lost the respect and ranking she fought so hard for. Thankfully, she still had Raynes, and Twiggy stuck by her, and Erasmus still favored Nyx as his second favorite pup.
She was about a year and seven months when Erasmus decided to give her a troop of her own. As good as it felt to be in charge of something and have a chance to prove herself not only to the pack, but to Nemesis, it did little to better Nyx's position. Nemesis still hated her. Troy still hated her. The rest of the pack didn't care about her new status. It was all the same as before. Nyx couldn't stand it. At least those in her troop had to follow her lead, even though they hardly respected her. Her one cousin was far more interested in flirting than actually working, she had to deal with Troy and his idiotic behavior every day, Twiggy was almost worthless, and her other two cousins liked to fight with each other and goof off way too much. She had a terrible team to work with and she had a really hard time trying to earn that respect and recognition she tried so hard for. It burned seeing the other captains would be honored and treated with respect, while everyone else just liked to kick her around and dig into the wounds Nemesis had already left her. "Man, even your own mother hates you!" they'd say, pointing out and laughing at the bitemarks. "Why are you even alive?
"Why don't you make a trip up to Tuskly Cave? Lots of cliffs there, you know," one said with a sneer.
Another laughed and said, "Let me know if you head over there. If you get too scared to jump, I'll help you out and give you a nice shove!" After a particularly violent and terrible fight between her and Nemesis, Nyx did find herself by Tuskly Cave, standing just inches away from the cliff edge near the cave's mouth, overlooking the cold, dark, barren woodlands before. She thought about making the plunge. The others were right. Why was she alive? Everyone hated her and she hated them back... except for Raynes and maybe Twiggy. Her mother beat her constantly and Nyx was always too shaken and frozen to fight back. Being a captain was barely even a good thing for her, as no one treated her any better and her troop was a mess that was, if anything, an absolute nightmare to have to command and they kept going off in their own directions without permission. Even that one girl she had feelings for ended up leaving the pack and never told Nyx where she was going or even that she was leaving in the first place.
Nyx couldn't stand this place anymore. The forest was beautiful and she loved the way the air smelled here, but everything else... something had to change, because there was no way she was going to live the rest of her life like this. The only good thing here was Raynes... but he was doing fine here. He was an excellent hunter, quiet and reserved but admired and respected by everyone. He would be okay with or without her. He probably wouldn't even notice if she left. Nyx departed from the territory that night without a single word.
Nyx hated being a loner. As horrible as the Nightstalkers were, she missed having a pack. She missed getting to live in a territory and having hunters around to keep everyone fed. Sometimes she liked being alone, but she hated this complete and utter solitude except for whenever she stumbled upon another wolf or into some territory, where she'd usually just end up getting in a fight and chased out. She was miserable, but it was still better than being abused each day.
Her life felt completely meaningless and empty... at least before, she knew what she was. She was part of Border Patrol and she was a Captain. Now what is she? Some stupid rogue who'd probably be better off dead. She ended up filling her days with meaningless conflict and fighting, harassing and provoking every wolf she met just for some cheap entertainment, bothering bears and other predators in hopes of a fight just for some temporary excitement.
It's still miserable, but she feels better this way. More like she's actually alive... not just some shell aimlessly drifting through existence.